here is a slight family resemblance, but after spending the last several years with them, you're

convinced your child is not from our planet. Many parents at some point find themselves living with "alien" children. You may not understand their strange clothes, friends, language, or problems. But there is hope. They do belong here on Earth but we must first acquaint ourselves with their foreign ways.

Young people want to be adults. It is estimated that 6.9 million American junior and senior high students can walk into a store and buy their own alcohol. (1) Talk about independence!

It's your incredibly tough job to convince your child that alcohol is not an option. When parents "bargain" with youth, allowing them to drink as long as they promise not to drive, the youth are more likely to drive after drinking or be in a car with someone drinking. (2)

One third of students surveyed said their parents often didn't set clear rules regarding alcohol and other drugs. Half said they aren't disciplined routinely when they break the rules. (3)

It's tough to sort through all the mixed messages that society promotes about alcohol. Your child deserves a clear, uncompromising message from you.

Here are a few suggestions that may make your job a little easier...

	Set a good example because they're watching you. Be moderate or abstain in your own use of alcohol. "Do as I say, not as I do" just doesn't cut it with this group.
	Teach your child that actions have consequences at any age. Every choice matters. Talk to them about alcohol and everything else! And talk early. The ages 9 to 11 are a good time to start. Get to know your child and the decisions they are facing. Give them encouragement and love as they grow.
	Set reasonable but firm rules that you plan to enforce. Explain the facts about alcohol as well as your family's opinions. Make it clear that alcohol is not an option until your child is 21. Discipline, curfews, and structure are non-negotiable but they should be understood.
	Teach your children about true friendship. When peer pressure hits, they'll be able to stand up to their friends. Get to know their friends and their friends' parents. Work together to provide a consistent no-use message.
	Let them know you see what's going on. Tell them you know what happens among teenagers, maybe even their friends and discuss why your child shouldn't participate in these activities. Point out the dangers and consequences of alcohol.
	Don't be naive. Watch for signs of abuse like dropping grades, switching friends, missing money, and withdrawal to name a few. If you sense a problem, seek help. It could save their life.

You can do it. We know that your child can grow up to reside happily on this planet. It just takes patience, love, understanding, determination, and discipline. It's going to be crazy so buckle up for the ride of your life. Young people do grow up. One day, you may even understand their language and appreciate their clothes. Stranger things have happened.

Information Sources

	Pacific Center for Violence Prevention Policy Paper, "Preventing Youth Violence: Reducing Access to Alcohol."
	Johnson Institute, "Student View," Minneapolic, MN, March 1993.
	PRIDE "Annual Teen Drug Use Survey" November 1995.